Friday funnies
This is late in the day, and really don't have time to post today. But when classic funny stuff presents itself, you just can't resist.
As Trey was waking up from his nap, out of the corner of my eye I see some movement on the floor. It is...a lizard. In the house. Yep. I'm not much of a critter girl, but lizards and frogs and such aren't terrible things if they are outdoors and not too close to me. But not in the house!
So hmm. What do I do? He's probably too fast to smash, and even if that worked, how on earth do you get lizard guts out of tile grout?? Hmm. How do I get him outside? As I'm pondering he is scurrying into the bathroom. Nowhere to hide in there except to crawl up into the baseboard heater unit.
OK. So when Brandon and I got married, we had a little unspoken agreement. I would handle managing the house/cooking/laundry, he would handle the outdoors. It might sound a little unbalanced, but also on his list are to handle intruders. Human and elsewise. He is the creepy-crawly killer under this roof. This carries much weight for me, and so our lists are balanced.
By stuffing a towel under the bathroom door, I trapped the lizard in that room, so I could go get Brandon from his outdoor work. Brandon came in, we found the lizard still hiding in the baseboard unit, and we pondered together. The plan ended up being to get the vacuum with crevice attachment on, and poke him enough to scare him out. Then Brandon would catch him in a tupperware bowl and take him outside.
Cue the vacuum (and cut it on, by the way, because that was supposed to scare him more). My job was to poke the lizard. Um, we seem to have a pretty strong vacuum. To my vocal dismay, I sucked up the lizard.
Now what? I'm a little freaked out, holding the vacuum with a supposedly still-alive lizard inside. Brandon's new idea is to leave the vacuum on until we get as close as possible to the door to outside. Of course, I'm still the one carrying the vacuum. While walking out of the bathroom, the hose extension falls off, which spooked me. More vocals. Who knows what Trey was thinking as all this was happening outside his bedroom door.
So we put the hose back on and I get maybe 4 feet from the door (with vacuum still running). Brandon says, "Ready?" Me: "Go!" Unplug. Dash for the door and out to the porch, where the vacuum was nearly thrown onto the concrete floor. Brandon asks, "How long you want it to stay out there?" Me: "A week." Not sure of the lizard's fate. Maybe he'll crawl out. And if he does, he'll have quite a story to tell.
As Trey was waking up from his nap, out of the corner of my eye I see some movement on the floor. It is...a lizard. In the house. Yep. I'm not much of a critter girl, but lizards and frogs and such aren't terrible things if they are outdoors and not too close to me. But not in the house!
So hmm. What do I do? He's probably too fast to smash, and even if that worked, how on earth do you get lizard guts out of tile grout?? Hmm. How do I get him outside? As I'm pondering he is scurrying into the bathroom. Nowhere to hide in there except to crawl up into the baseboard heater unit.
OK. So when Brandon and I got married, we had a little unspoken agreement. I would handle managing the house/cooking/laundry, he would handle the outdoors. It might sound a little unbalanced, but also on his list are to handle intruders. Human and elsewise. He is the creepy-crawly killer under this roof. This carries much weight for me, and so our lists are balanced.
By stuffing a towel under the bathroom door, I trapped the lizard in that room, so I could go get Brandon from his outdoor work. Brandon came in, we found the lizard still hiding in the baseboard unit, and we pondered together. The plan ended up being to get the vacuum with crevice attachment on, and poke him enough to scare him out. Then Brandon would catch him in a tupperware bowl and take him outside.
Cue the vacuum (and cut it on, by the way, because that was supposed to scare him more). My job was to poke the lizard. Um, we seem to have a pretty strong vacuum. To my vocal dismay, I sucked up the lizard.
Now what? I'm a little freaked out, holding the vacuum with a supposedly still-alive lizard inside. Brandon's new idea is to leave the vacuum on until we get as close as possible to the door to outside. Of course, I'm still the one carrying the vacuum. While walking out of the bathroom, the hose extension falls off, which spooked me. More vocals. Who knows what Trey was thinking as all this was happening outside his bedroom door.
So we put the hose back on and I get maybe 4 feet from the door (with vacuum still running). Brandon says, "Ready?" Me: "Go!" Unplug. Dash for the door and out to the porch, where the vacuum was nearly thrown onto the concrete floor. Brandon asks, "How long you want it to stay out there?" Me: "A week." Not sure of the lizard's fate. Maybe he'll crawl out. And if he does, he'll have quite a story to tell.
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