A control issue
In a break from updates on Trey, I thought I'd share something. It is no secret that I love to eat. Bread, pasta, mac & cheese, pizza, pancakes, any sweets. Good, fattening stuff and lots of it. And I am a champion at coming up with reasons to eat. "I've had a hard day," or "Dinner didn't taste all that great, I deserve at least something good," or "It's the weekend." Et cetera. I know my body is suffering for it, as is our budget with buying so many groceries each week. But even those things have been trumped by my world-class skill of rationalization.
Brandon is the true spiritual leader for our home, constantly praying for the family, acting as a great role model for Trey, living out his faith every day to inspire me. The Lord will occasionally give Brandon an entire sermon that speaks to something going on in his life. A couple of weeks ago, He gave Brandon a sermon for me.
It came in the form of a Sunday school lesson, I think about contentment. Most of the lesson is lost to me, except one segment where we talked about being caught up in sin. Making it such a part of our lives, such a part of us, that we hardly even recognize it. The way to recognize it is to find what we rationalize most, what behavior we know isn't right that we still fight for.
When we think about a lifestyle of sin, of course we think alcohol, drugs, perversions. But, as Brandon said, sin is sin. Telling a fib is as terrible in God's eyes as murdering someone. So my gluttony puts me in the same category as the drug addict. The serial killer. And if I'm not striving to leave that lifestyle of sin behind me, I am choosing every day to separate myself further and further from God. Because God cannot coexist with sin.
As if Brandon's lesson wasn't enough, the church sermon following that day's Sunday school lesson focused on 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, and then my devotions for that same night had me in Romans 8. Though I have probably read those scriptures a hundred times, they were brand new to me. And it broke my heart.
So here we are, and I can honestly say this is the longest I have ever stuck to a "diet", if you want to call it that. But this one is completely different, not based on my willpower, but based on the desire I have to not be separated from my Lord in any way. I have embraced portion control, and I'm journaling all my food.
The desire for a big pot of macaroni and cheese has not gone away. But by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can "take captive every [food] thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5) And then I can say with total confidence, "I am controlled NOT by the sinful nature, but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in me. AND HE DOES!" (Romans 8:9, my paraphrase)
I would never have thought that food would have harmed my relationship with the Lord, but it did. Thank you, Lord, for speaking through my husband and working in me to demolish that stronghold of Satan in my life. Please give me the strength I need not to fail You in this. To God be the glory.
Brandon is the true spiritual leader for our home, constantly praying for the family, acting as a great role model for Trey, living out his faith every day to inspire me. The Lord will occasionally give Brandon an entire sermon that speaks to something going on in his life. A couple of weeks ago, He gave Brandon a sermon for me.
It came in the form of a Sunday school lesson, I think about contentment. Most of the lesson is lost to me, except one segment where we talked about being caught up in sin. Making it such a part of our lives, such a part of us, that we hardly even recognize it. The way to recognize it is to find what we rationalize most, what behavior we know isn't right that we still fight for.
When we think about a lifestyle of sin, of course we think alcohol, drugs, perversions. But, as Brandon said, sin is sin. Telling a fib is as terrible in God's eyes as murdering someone. So my gluttony puts me in the same category as the drug addict. The serial killer. And if I'm not striving to leave that lifestyle of sin behind me, I am choosing every day to separate myself further and further from God. Because God cannot coexist with sin.
As if Brandon's lesson wasn't enough, the church sermon following that day's Sunday school lesson focused on 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, and then my devotions for that same night had me in Romans 8. Though I have probably read those scriptures a hundred times, they were brand new to me. And it broke my heart.
So here we are, and I can honestly say this is the longest I have ever stuck to a "diet", if you want to call it that. But this one is completely different, not based on my willpower, but based on the desire I have to not be separated from my Lord in any way. I have embraced portion control, and I'm journaling all my food.
The desire for a big pot of macaroni and cheese has not gone away. But by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can "take captive every [food] thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5) And then I can say with total confidence, "I am controlled NOT by the sinful nature, but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in me. AND HE DOES!" (Romans 8:9, my paraphrase)
I would never have thought that food would have harmed my relationship with the Lord, but it did. Thank you, Lord, for speaking through my husband and working in me to demolish that stronghold of Satan in my life. Please give me the strength I need not to fail You in this. To God be the glory.
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