The mute button
As you can imagine, serenity is rather an elusive thing within the six walls of our house. You know, unless no one's home.
No, more often it looks and sounds as if there is an indoor hurricane going on. At any given moment, it's like this.
Trey: (the loud whine) Nooooo, Aden! You're not supposed to play this, it's mine! Don't touch it!
Aden: I'm playin dis with you.
Trey: Maaamaaa, Aden's messing with my stuff and he's not supposed to!
Mama: Trey, try and figure out the best way to handle it.
Trey: (calmly) Aden, will you please go somewhere else?
Aden: I don't want to.
Trey: (demonically) YOU GET OUT OF HERE!!
a shuffle, a thud, then Aden approaches me while fake-crying with Trey on his heels whispering "sorry sorry sorry"
Aden: Mama, look. Trey did like dis to me. (demonstrates on himself)
Mama: Trey, was that the right way to handle it?
Trey: No, but I need to play by myself.
Mama: You know, if you chose a game you could play with Aden, you'd be happy to have him.
Trey: Hey, Aden! Let's run together!
Aden: OK!!
cue the very complex game of stampeding from the back of the house to the front, over and over
a few loud, but peaceful, minutes pass
Trey: (the loud whine) Nooooo, Aden! That's where I'm supposed to stop! You go over there!
Aden: NO, TREY! I'M A PERSON!
a shuffle, a thud, an ear-shattering shreik
It is at this point, when Aden has sucker-punched Trey and Trey is panic-screaming like his foot has been bitten off by an alligator, that I choose to intervene. And I'd love nothing more than to tell you that I calmly walk to the boys, sympathize and comfort Trey over his life-altering boo boo, and gently correct Aden for harming his brother.
Yeah.
Let's just say that I'm not that person and move on.
That's kind of how things go around here, pretty much all day every day. And so you understand why I must must have some tricks up my sleeve. So that we can have even a few fleeting moments of serenity and I can stay out of the nut house. Because some days, that's a very real possibility.
My tried and true mute buttons:
This
The blog. Pictures and video of themselves - it's their happy place. Especially when we go back to when they were babies, and sometimes I'll read the accounts of what they were learning to do at certain ages. A little treasure-trove of self-centeredness. But good at the same time. It is good, the blog. Family history in the making.
Team Umizoomi
I am so not the mom who shuns TV, and never intended to be. It's a glorious thing. And never more glorious than when Milli, Geo, and Bot grace the screen. I love them. And so do the boys. It's fun and educational, the songs are happy, it's math! While it may bother some parents to see their kids sit still and stare blankly at a black box, to me it is a precious twenty-one minute vacation.
Squeeze applesauce
Little tiny pouches of gold, they are. Really, this ranks right up there with sliced bread and command strips. A tad on the expensive side, and not nearly big enough, but still. We get the no-sugar added, which frees me up to suggest these puppies any time of day. No guilt, everybody happy happy happy.
Books
The sillier, the better. Now, Aden does have to be in a certain mood to sit still for a book. But when he is, watch out. Our favorites are A Fly Went By, My Truck is Stuck, Leap Back Home to Me, Little By Little, and anything Curious George. Sometimes Trey will take over the reading, and it really just doesn't get any better than that.
Phone conversations
We have all our old cell phones, and when I need some peace and guaranteed entertainment, each boy gets an old phone and they go to calling. Each other. Now the phones aren't functional, of course, so if the boys should wander into different rooms, they have to tell each other to speak up. Or sometimes they just talk at the same time. But oh, the discussions they hold. Priceless.
Coupons
Coupon day is cause for great rejoicing in this house. (They're my boys, after all.) A stack of coupons, three pairs of scissors, and the three of us sit at the kitchen table and just enjoy the heck out of life. Trey gets a thrill out of finding anything he'd like to have, and I'm pretty sure Aden gets a thrill to be permitted to cause destruction with his scissors.
What was that?
This is only used in moments of true desperation, because it can only last so long. But if I'm about to lose it, I'll say, "SHHHHHHH! What was that?? Listen?" If I play it up by walking from room to room and appearing to concentrate on listening, they'll keep completely silent for a good couple of minutes. Sometimes it's a beautiful thing to hear your own heart beating.
So there you have it, survival 101. I will say that this summer has been a turning point for us. The boys have achieved quasi-independence, and we no longer have to hover over them, waiting for the next opportunity to save their lives. And it's kind of...amazing.
Still need my mute buttons though.
No, more often it looks and sounds as if there is an indoor hurricane going on. At any given moment, it's like this.
Trey: (the loud whine) Nooooo, Aden! You're not supposed to play this, it's mine! Don't touch it!
Aden: I'm playin dis with you.
Trey: Maaamaaa, Aden's messing with my stuff and he's not supposed to!
Mama: Trey, try and figure out the best way to handle it.
Trey: (calmly) Aden, will you please go somewhere else?
Aden: I don't want to.
Trey: (demonically) YOU GET OUT OF HERE!!
a shuffle, a thud, then Aden approaches me while fake-crying with Trey on his heels whispering "sorry sorry sorry"
Aden: Mama, look. Trey did like dis to me. (demonstrates on himself)
Mama: Trey, was that the right way to handle it?
Trey: No, but I need to play by myself.
Mama: You know, if you chose a game you could play with Aden, you'd be happy to have him.
Trey: Hey, Aden! Let's run together!
Aden: OK!!
cue the very complex game of stampeding from the back of the house to the front, over and over
a few loud, but peaceful, minutes pass
Trey: (the loud whine) Nooooo, Aden! That's where I'm supposed to stop! You go over there!
Aden: NO, TREY! I'M A PERSON!
a shuffle, a thud, an ear-shattering shreik
It is at this point, when Aden has sucker-punched Trey and Trey is panic-screaming like his foot has been bitten off by an alligator, that I choose to intervene. And I'd love nothing more than to tell you that I calmly walk to the boys, sympathize and comfort Trey over his life-altering boo boo, and gently correct Aden for harming his brother.
Yeah.
Let's just say that I'm not that person and move on.
That's kind of how things go around here, pretty much all day every day. And so you understand why I must must have some tricks up my sleeve. So that we can have even a few fleeting moments of serenity and I can stay out of the nut house. Because some days, that's a very real possibility.
My tried and true mute buttons:
This
The blog. Pictures and video of themselves - it's their happy place. Especially when we go back to when they were babies, and sometimes I'll read the accounts of what they were learning to do at certain ages. A little treasure-trove of self-centeredness. But good at the same time. It is good, the blog. Family history in the making.
Team Umizoomi
I am so not the mom who shuns TV, and never intended to be. It's a glorious thing. And never more glorious than when Milli, Geo, and Bot grace the screen. I love them. And so do the boys. It's fun and educational, the songs are happy, it's math! While it may bother some parents to see their kids sit still and stare blankly at a black box, to me it is a precious twenty-one minute vacation.
Squeeze applesauce
Little tiny pouches of gold, they are. Really, this ranks right up there with sliced bread and command strips. A tad on the expensive side, and not nearly big enough, but still. We get the no-sugar added, which frees me up to suggest these puppies any time of day. No guilt, everybody happy happy happy.
Books
The sillier, the better. Now, Aden does have to be in a certain mood to sit still for a book. But when he is, watch out. Our favorites are A Fly Went By, My Truck is Stuck, Leap Back Home to Me, Little By Little, and anything Curious George. Sometimes Trey will take over the reading, and it really just doesn't get any better than that.
Phone conversations
We have all our old cell phones, and when I need some peace and guaranteed entertainment, each boy gets an old phone and they go to calling. Each other. Now the phones aren't functional, of course, so if the boys should wander into different rooms, they have to tell each other to speak up. Or sometimes they just talk at the same time. But oh, the discussions they hold. Priceless.
Coupons
Coupon day is cause for great rejoicing in this house. (They're my boys, after all.) A stack of coupons, three pairs of scissors, and the three of us sit at the kitchen table and just enjoy the heck out of life. Trey gets a thrill out of finding anything he'd like to have, and I'm pretty sure Aden gets a thrill to be permitted to cause destruction with his scissors.
What was that?
This is only used in moments of true desperation, because it can only last so long. But if I'm about to lose it, I'll say, "SHHHHHHH! What was that?? Listen?" If I play it up by walking from room to room and appearing to concentrate on listening, they'll keep completely silent for a good couple of minutes. Sometimes it's a beautiful thing to hear your own heart beating.
So there you have it, survival 101. I will say that this summer has been a turning point for us. The boys have achieved quasi-independence, and we no longer have to hover over them, waiting for the next opportunity to save their lives. And it's kind of...amazing.
Still need my mute buttons though.
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