Right now
I used to have my act together. I remembered to send people cards on their birthdays. I ironed. I exercised. I cleaned the house once each week and straightened up every day.
Today there are some moments when I look around the house and make a mental catalog of what needs to change, what the old me would have alreay taken care of.
Closets stuffed to the gills in desperate need of organizing. Cabinets with food and dishes stuck in however they will fit. Piles of mostly junk everywhere. Dust. Sticky spots on the floor. Marks and dings on the walls. Stains on the furniture.
And all this stuff just makes me thankful.
Thankful that we have a home that can be a mess. Thankful that we have stuff to make a mess with. Thankful that there are people in our home to make a mess. Thankful that I can be too busy loving on those people to fix the messes.
I have spent most of my life living for the next big thing. Graduating college. Getting married. Having a baby. Having another baby.
Maybe because I really don't have any personal milestones left - my goals are pretty much the kids' milestones at this point. But I'm not living like that anymore. Every day is precious.
Here is some of what I love right now.
Aden's no-wrists and no-neck.
The way his belly hangs over his pants.
The way he smells.
The way he grabs my face and pulls me closer to him.
The way his eyes brighten whenever Trey pays any attention to him.
The way he smiles and trembles when his bottle is being shaken.
The way he eats - how when a bite is offered, he gives a wide-open-mouth smile to accept the food.
The way he keeps his eyes on me when I'm moving around a room.
His squeals of delight when someone talks to him.
His fluffy blond hair.
His deep blue eyes.
The way he falls asleep with his mouth open.
Carrying him around in public, knowing he looks exactly like me.
Trey's huge hazel eyes.
His vast catalog of made-up, self-narrating songs.
His prayers, and the way he thanks God for everything in the room. We could take a lesson from that.
The way he still lets me snuggle him, even though it's not easy, since he is two-thirds my size.
How he rejoices over things especially for him in the grocery bags.
His helping hands in the kitchen.
His acceptance (finally) of his brother. More on this to come.
His adoration of his grandparents and Aunt Nene. And their adoration of him.
The way he tells on the above people when they have done something for him that might bend the rules a bit.
The way he beams when he has remembered his verse for Cubbies.
The look on his face when I pick him up at preschool.
His amazing, endless energy.
The way he looks exactly like his Dad. God gave me two of my favorite person.
Right now, my calendar, house, and hands are full. And right now, I wouldn't have it any other way. So here's to being a mom of littles, and all the messes, laughter, tears, prayers, frustration, and indescribable joy that come with not having my act together.
Today there are some moments when I look around the house and make a mental catalog of what needs to change, what the old me would have alreay taken care of.
Closets stuffed to the gills in desperate need of organizing. Cabinets with food and dishes stuck in however they will fit. Piles of mostly junk everywhere. Dust. Sticky spots on the floor. Marks and dings on the walls. Stains on the furniture.
And all this stuff just makes me thankful.
Thankful that we have a home that can be a mess. Thankful that we have stuff to make a mess with. Thankful that there are people in our home to make a mess. Thankful that I can be too busy loving on those people to fix the messes.
I have spent most of my life living for the next big thing. Graduating college. Getting married. Having a baby. Having another baby.
Maybe because I really don't have any personal milestones left - my goals are pretty much the kids' milestones at this point. But I'm not living like that anymore. Every day is precious.
Here is some of what I love right now.
Aden's no-wrists and no-neck.
The way his belly hangs over his pants.
The way he smells.
The way he grabs my face and pulls me closer to him.
The way his eyes brighten whenever Trey pays any attention to him.
The way he smiles and trembles when his bottle is being shaken.
The way he eats - how when a bite is offered, he gives a wide-open-mouth smile to accept the food.
The way he keeps his eyes on me when I'm moving around a room.
His squeals of delight when someone talks to him.
His fluffy blond hair.
His deep blue eyes.
The way he falls asleep with his mouth open.
Carrying him around in public, knowing he looks exactly like me.
Trey's huge hazel eyes.
His vast catalog of made-up, self-narrating songs.
His prayers, and the way he thanks God for everything in the room. We could take a lesson from that.
The way he still lets me snuggle him, even though it's not easy, since he is two-thirds my size.
How he rejoices over things especially for him in the grocery bags.
His helping hands in the kitchen.
His acceptance (finally) of his brother. More on this to come.
His adoration of his grandparents and Aunt Nene. And their adoration of him.
The way he tells on the above people when they have done something for him that might bend the rules a bit.
The way he beams when he has remembered his verse for Cubbies.
The look on his face when I pick him up at preschool.
His amazing, endless energy.
The way he looks exactly like his Dad. God gave me two of my favorite person.
Right now, my calendar, house, and hands are full. And right now, I wouldn't have it any other way. So here's to being a mom of littles, and all the messes, laughter, tears, prayers, frustration, and indescribable joy that come with not having my act together.
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