Normal
Everybody has their normal. It's what gives life its rhythm, this dance repeated day by day with the movement of the sun. You wake up with a well-worn path blazed through your brain and an unspoken adieu to your warm cozy bed - see you in seventeen hours. Robotic routine takes over with the underlying goal of ending up with a higher stack of did good than did bad.
We tend to thrive on repeated process in our house, most likely because the two of us who quite literally see eye to eye flat on our feet are hardcore planners who find peace in knowing what to expect and when and how and surprises are extremely anxiety-inducing. Even good ones.
There are two problems with routine, though.
One is small talk. As my three well-seasoned readers are fully aware, introverts can't do small talk. After "How are you" is over and done with, our brains glitch scrolling high-speed through our files of what to possibly say next and actually, physically shut down. Then, dread of all dreads, the other person says something to the effect of, "What's been going on with you lately?"
How on the Lord's earth do I answer that question?
Because I know that I know I shouldn't offer up the full picture. Which goes something like:
Wake up in the dark and drunkenly stumble to the shower. Get ready. Wake up boys. Try not to fall asleep reading the Bible. Try not to fall asleep driving to work. Stare at a screen for eight hours. Drive home. Feed people. Argue with the boys through homework. Yell at boys for fighting. Force boys into shower. Drag boys to bed. Drag self to bed. Fall asleep reading.
Nor should I really put single-sentence anecdotes out there, true as they may be. Such as:
I cleaned mold out of the dishwasher today.
Someone said there are special camera lenses for iPhones and I'm thinking that might be fun.
Amazon sells a taser for like twenty-five bucks.
Still holding on to that thin thread of hope that one day the boys' clothes will end up in the hamper instead of all around it.
Working on making up for missed flossing with my dentist appointment coming up.
See? See why the "what's new" question is such a quandry?
For one thing, if an introvert is forced to talk, you're most likely going to end up with a TMI situation. We're very much bipolar conversationalists. But the other thing is, because I'm living solid routine, there's nothing to share. It's just...normal.
The other problem with routine is what can be missed. Or taken for granted.
We survived this past winter's flu epidemic entirely unscathed.
Last week's snow didn't kill the budding bulbs.
Aden shining like a new penny, showing off his certificate for honor roll.
Trey promising we'd still play board games together when he's a teenager.
There are so many blessings, big and small, in every single day. So many things I miss just trying to keep up with the steps in this life dance.
My Jesus, He died for all of this. He set me free and gave me the life more abundant, planted me in the beauty of the country and mountains and mud-mounded garden, surrounded me with the three fellows my heart always longed for, gave me hope from despair. He is all I need. And I praise my Lord, praise, praise my Lord, for His all-surpassing love and how He gives me every last bit of it every single day.
In the morning when I rise to meet You
In the morning when I lift my eyes
You're the only One I wanna cling to
You're the first thought on my mind
In the moments where You go unnoticed
In the ordinary day to day
Countless miracles of life around us
Point like arrows to Your name
Let our voices rise
All creation cries
Singing out an endless alleluia
From this moment on
Join with Heaven's song
Singing out an endless alleluia
Only a moment to live this life
Like shooting stars burning up the night
Till Heaven's opened and we arrive
In your presence, Lord
In the evening when I lay my head down
In the evening when I close my eyes
You're still the only One I wanna cling to
You're the last thought on my mind
We tend to thrive on repeated process in our house, most likely because the two of us who quite literally see eye to eye flat on our feet are hardcore planners who find peace in knowing what to expect and when and how and surprises are extremely anxiety-inducing. Even good ones.
There are two problems with routine, though.
One is small talk. As my three well-seasoned readers are fully aware, introverts can't do small talk. After "How are you" is over and done with, our brains glitch scrolling high-speed through our files of what to possibly say next and actually, physically shut down. Then, dread of all dreads, the other person says something to the effect of, "What's been going on with you lately?"
How on the Lord's earth do I answer that question?
Because I know that I know I shouldn't offer up the full picture. Which goes something like:
Wake up in the dark and drunkenly stumble to the shower. Get ready. Wake up boys. Try not to fall asleep reading the Bible. Try not to fall asleep driving to work. Stare at a screen for eight hours. Drive home. Feed people. Argue with the boys through homework. Yell at boys for fighting. Force boys into shower. Drag boys to bed. Drag self to bed. Fall asleep reading.
Nor should I really put single-sentence anecdotes out there, true as they may be. Such as:
I cleaned mold out of the dishwasher today.
Someone said there are special camera lenses for iPhones and I'm thinking that might be fun.
Amazon sells a taser for like twenty-five bucks.
Still holding on to that thin thread of hope that one day the boys' clothes will end up in the hamper instead of all around it.
Working on making up for missed flossing with my dentist appointment coming up.
See? See why the "what's new" question is such a quandry?
For one thing, if an introvert is forced to talk, you're most likely going to end up with a TMI situation. We're very much bipolar conversationalists. But the other thing is, because I'm living solid routine, there's nothing to share. It's just...normal.
The other problem with routine is what can be missed. Or taken for granted.
We survived this past winter's flu epidemic entirely unscathed.
Last week's snow didn't kill the budding bulbs.
Aden shining like a new penny, showing off his certificate for honor roll.
Trey promising we'd still play board games together when he's a teenager.
There are so many blessings, big and small, in every single day. So many things I miss just trying to keep up with the steps in this life dance.
My Jesus, He died for all of this. He set me free and gave me the life more abundant, planted me in the beauty of the country and mountains and mud-mounded garden, surrounded me with the three fellows my heart always longed for, gave me hope from despair. He is all I need. And I praise my Lord, praise, praise my Lord, for His all-surpassing love and how He gives me every last bit of it every single day.
In the morning when I lift my eyes
You're the only One I wanna cling to
You're the first thought on my mind
In the moments where You go unnoticed
In the ordinary day to day
Countless miracles of life around us
Point like arrows to Your name
Let our voices rise
All creation cries
Singing out an endless alleluia
From this moment on
Join with Heaven's song
Singing out an endless alleluia
Only a moment to live this life
Like shooting stars burning up the night
Till Heaven's opened and we arrive
In your presence, Lord
In the evening when I lay my head down
In the evening when I close my eyes
You're still the only One I wanna cling to
You're the last thought on my mind
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