Introspection of the homebound
This is not a complaining about weather post. Because winter, well she's just fine by me. So many great things about winter.
For one thing, the significant decrease in four, six, eight, and zero-legged creatures wandering around. Yeah, I'm not much of a creature fan.
Basketball season, though it's over now for us, is another of winter's great attractions. Kind of bracing ourselves for when the bracket comes out in the next few weeks. The excitement is already building, and by the time it gets here, Trey may explode. Or faint or wet his pants or very literally bounce off the walls.
And snow. While at times a pain, there is absolutely nothing like stuffing your belly full of soup and then drowsily look out the window to see a world covered in white. White that will slowly seep its way down through the layers of soil, nourishing and preparing it so well for the spring garden to come.
And of course we love playing in the snow, though for me it has lost a bit of its luster since childhood. Maybe because I end up breaking a sweat with the thirty-minute grueling exertion needed to get everyone into their gear. The boys do like playing in the snow, especially throwing snowballs and sledding. Of course the only, er, "hill" we have requires us to push the sled very hard to start, and then hope the slippery lack of friction will keep the sled going for a bit. Gravity plays no role here.
The bummer of winter comes in the form of sicknesses that just. won't. leave. The big ol' snow we got eleven days ago hung around a long time, so that the snow we got last night just piled on top of it. But we have only been able to take the boys out in it once. They are coughing their poor little heads off, and Trey's asthma is terrible. Maybe the germs, or the sinus drainage, or the dry heat. Or all of it together.
But any physical activity puts them both into coughing fits. So they have to sit still. Completely opposite of their personalities. Which is why they are now completely addicted to their video games. And I am allowing it to happen, with guilt on my conscience, because honestly I have no idea what else to do with them. They're not craft kids, not big readers, and very limited board game players. They have played toys some, but a lot of times just want to lay down. So here we are, that family. Kids glued to screens like little blond zombies.
It's just a season. Only for a season. Calm down, self, you're in a season.
School was out for six week days, during which time we were pretty much stuck at the house. Each of us got out a little bit on Wednesday and Thursday, but otherwise, it was all of us together, here. A great blessing, especially after hardly seeing Brandon much over the last four months. But...
Here comes a confession, and it pains me greatly to go here. I got bored.
For someone to be bored rubs me entirely the wrong way. So much that, if I ever hear one of the boys say they are bored, they must immediately spout off three things they are thankful for. And then go use their imagination somehow.
And in my own life, I never ever get bored. There is still enough perfectionist in me that I have no trouble filling pretty much every waking moment with stuff. Job, house, childcare, cooking, church, planning, yadda yadda. All my hats. And there are plenty. Especially at this time of year, with the Easter drama in full swing at church, more often than not I have more to do than I can even think about.
I got bored, y'all. And it's not that there weren't hats waiting for me - hey, there's always a drawer you could clean out somewhere. But I felt guilty about the boys laying there glued to their DSs, felt like I needed to spend time with them and invest in them somehow, but there was nothing they could get up and do. So I watched them. Helped with Mario the few times they needed it. But really just watched. For a couple of days.
What bothers me the most, I think, is that there isn't an in-between. I'm either running around like a chicken with its head cut off, or I'm bored. That in-between is so very important. Important enough that God put it in the ten commandments. I'm supposed to be able to rest, and to do it without feeling guilty. Just rest and allow God to speak, replenish my energy, dole out a little perspective, and allow Him to be that quiet center of my life. Maybe one day I'll get there.
A very good thing to come out of all our time at home together is that things seem, for now, to be mended between Trey and me. While he was pretty sick, I got to fuss over him and take care of him. We've been having actual conversations that don't involve guilt trips. He's even been returning my hugs. And since he has been feeling better, Trey has been walking around smiling. For no reason. Or, well, it might have something to do with the chocolate cake I made for Brandon's birthday. But still. My boy is happy.
So anyway, there is my non-complaining confession. I'm no longer bored, by the way. With six fresh inches of snow on the ground, all three of my guys off from school and me off from work, today we set out to take Aden to the doctor. Poor kid hasn't been to school in two weeks between the weather and his sicknesses. Gotta get through this.
Then make our way home to stuff our bellies full of soup and drowsily look out the window to see a world covered in white.
Praise the Lord.
For one thing, the significant decrease in four, six, eight, and zero-legged creatures wandering around. Yeah, I'm not much of a creature fan.
Basketball season, though it's over now for us, is another of winter's great attractions. Kind of bracing ourselves for when the bracket comes out in the next few weeks. The excitement is already building, and by the time it gets here, Trey may explode. Or faint or wet his pants or very literally bounce off the walls.
And snow. While at times a pain, there is absolutely nothing like stuffing your belly full of soup and then drowsily look out the window to see a world covered in white. White that will slowly seep its way down through the layers of soil, nourishing and preparing it so well for the spring garden to come.
And of course we love playing in the snow, though for me it has lost a bit of its luster since childhood. Maybe because I end up breaking a sweat with the thirty-minute grueling exertion needed to get everyone into their gear. The boys do like playing in the snow, especially throwing snowballs and sledding. Of course the only, er, "hill" we have requires us to push the sled very hard to start, and then hope the slippery lack of friction will keep the sled going for a bit. Gravity plays no role here.
The bummer of winter comes in the form of sicknesses that just. won't. leave. The big ol' snow we got eleven days ago hung around a long time, so that the snow we got last night just piled on top of it. But we have only been able to take the boys out in it once. They are coughing their poor little heads off, and Trey's asthma is terrible. Maybe the germs, or the sinus drainage, or the dry heat. Or all of it together.
But any physical activity puts them both into coughing fits. So they have to sit still. Completely opposite of their personalities. Which is why they are now completely addicted to their video games. And I am allowing it to happen, with guilt on my conscience, because honestly I have no idea what else to do with them. They're not craft kids, not big readers, and very limited board game players. They have played toys some, but a lot of times just want to lay down. So here we are, that family. Kids glued to screens like little blond zombies.
It's just a season. Only for a season. Calm down, self, you're in a season.
School was out for six week days, during which time we were pretty much stuck at the house. Each of us got out a little bit on Wednesday and Thursday, but otherwise, it was all of us together, here. A great blessing, especially after hardly seeing Brandon much over the last four months. But...
Here comes a confession, and it pains me greatly to go here. I got bored.
For someone to be bored rubs me entirely the wrong way. So much that, if I ever hear one of the boys say they are bored, they must immediately spout off three things they are thankful for. And then go use their imagination somehow.
And in my own life, I never ever get bored. There is still enough perfectionist in me that I have no trouble filling pretty much every waking moment with stuff. Job, house, childcare, cooking, church, planning, yadda yadda. All my hats. And there are plenty. Especially at this time of year, with the Easter drama in full swing at church, more often than not I have more to do than I can even think about.
I got bored, y'all. And it's not that there weren't hats waiting for me - hey, there's always a drawer you could clean out somewhere. But I felt guilty about the boys laying there glued to their DSs, felt like I needed to spend time with them and invest in them somehow, but there was nothing they could get up and do. So I watched them. Helped with Mario the few times they needed it. But really just watched. For a couple of days.
What bothers me the most, I think, is that there isn't an in-between. I'm either running around like a chicken with its head cut off, or I'm bored. That in-between is so very important. Important enough that God put it in the ten commandments. I'm supposed to be able to rest, and to do it without feeling guilty. Just rest and allow God to speak, replenish my energy, dole out a little perspective, and allow Him to be that quiet center of my life. Maybe one day I'll get there.
A very good thing to come out of all our time at home together is that things seem, for now, to be mended between Trey and me. While he was pretty sick, I got to fuss over him and take care of him. We've been having actual conversations that don't involve guilt trips. He's even been returning my hugs. And since he has been feeling better, Trey has been walking around smiling. For no reason. Or, well, it might have something to do with the chocolate cake I made for Brandon's birthday. But still. My boy is happy.
So anyway, there is my non-complaining confession. I'm no longer bored, by the way. With six fresh inches of snow on the ground, all three of my guys off from school and me off from work, today we set out to take Aden to the doctor. Poor kid hasn't been to school in two weeks between the weather and his sicknesses. Gotta get through this.
Then make our way home to stuff our bellies full of soup and drowsily look out the window to see a world covered in white.
Praise the Lord.
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