Joy

Be joyful always,


pray continually,


give thanks in all circumstances,


for this is God's will for you
in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


I have written approximately 46 blog posts over the last two weeks. Maybe, just maybe, for this one I'll be able to hit publish at the end. Hard to say.


We're walking through the valley. Oh, things certainly aren't as bad as they could be. I am well aware that my worst day would be a walk in the park for some people.


But I don't know if ever before there has been such suffering around and among us. Satan is wreaking havoc.


Friends - multiple - who have lost a child, hearts shattered at what should have been such a joyful season in their lives.

Our church, torn apart.

Family, hurting.


And we struggle under the weight of it all, piled on top our own issues, which were no small potatoes to begin with.


So yes, we are walking through the valley. The verses from 1 Thessalonians flash through my mind every few minutes. Joy, prayer, and thanks.


Giving thanks has obviously been a theme, as we marked the significance of the recent holiday with the boys. Though I could not bring myself to orchestrate and enforce an entire "thankful week", as we did last year, we did bring back the "thankful turkey".


Except, because of the recession, he has far fewer feathers this year. Same number of thankful words, just fewer feathers.


Living in the good enough. We're there.


And even amid the worst of trials, there is much, much to be thankful for. All I have to do is look around.


Praying continually - not a problem. Not even a choice, really. Pretty much every thought I have becomes a prayer. Because the only One big enough to make everything right is God.


And I am claiming the promise that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, as I'm tired of trying to come up with the best way for God to resolve everything, and telling Him how it should be.


Cannot begin to count the number of times I've prayed for Jesus to just come back. Please. It's the only answer. Maybe this is the easy way out. Or maybe this is spiritual maturity, realizing that this is not where I belong.


Take the world, but give me Jesus.


And the joy. Loss of joy has been perhaps the toughest part. Happy is my default setting - well, sort of a cynical happy. Walking around with a cloud over my head is taking a toll. I long to smile and laugh again. Especially as the twinkly lights are going up all around, and I have a duty to my two precious boys to make a holiday fuss.


So it's going to have to be a choice. The joy.


That is why, though they don't really directly correspond to the theme of this post, I have pics of the boys scattered around. Because the problems are there, every second. And to maintain the joy, at least every few seconds, I must count my blessings.


This blog will not become a negative sounding board. As much as possible, I would love to restore the normal of recounts, fun stories, milestones, and oodles of pictures. I'm about to push publish. I really think I can do it this time. And hopefully, with this, the normal will come back.


Not naturally, of course. But I will choose joy.