The preschooler
Today...
Trey started preschool.
Oh. Oh me. Sniff.
It's hard to convey what I feel using words. My baby. Independent. Off on his own, doing his own thing, where I am not there.
Not there to see what he is doing. Not there to help him if he needs it.
Not there to encourage him, cheer for him. Not there to beam when he already knows something the class is learning. Not there to reassure him when he is having difficulty learning something.
Not there to make sure he is acting right. Not there to calm him during a tantrum. Not there to correct him when he breaks the rules.
Not there to make sure no one gives him any milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, or peanuts. Not there to watch and listen for an asthma attack.
Not there to catch and comfort him if he falls down. Not there to wrap him in love when other kids are mean.
Not there.
This is just the first in a long line of such letting-go milestones. Oh me.
I never had any control to begin with. After all, Trey belongs to God. And there are no better hands for Trey to be in.
But this is serious no-control territory. I know this is necessary and will be very beneficial for Trey, and probably even for our family dynamic. He will have something that's just his, and he'll be stimulated in ways we just can't give him. And like everything else, in time this will become normal.
Lord, please forgive me for my doubt, my desire for control, and my fear of change. Please grow Trey into who You want him to be. Please remind me everyday that Trey is Yours and that You love him more than I do.
Enough introspection.
I was in constant prayer all morning. And in spite of our sure predictions that Trey would go postal being left, crying until he threw up, refusing to be comforted by people he didn't know...he made it.
With Brandon and me at work, Nana took Trey to preschool today, and she said that though he whimpered at first, by the time she was out the door he wasn't crying anymore.
He did it.
It was harder on me than it was on him. I'll take that any day.
Yes, Trey is very grown-up indeed. I love you, my big preschool boy.
Trey started preschool.
Oh. Oh me. Sniff.
It's hard to convey what I feel using words. My baby. Independent. Off on his own, doing his own thing, where I am not there.
Not there to see what he is doing. Not there to help him if he needs it.
Not there to encourage him, cheer for him. Not there to beam when he already knows something the class is learning. Not there to reassure him when he is having difficulty learning something.
Not there to make sure he is acting right. Not there to calm him during a tantrum. Not there to correct him when he breaks the rules.
Not there to make sure no one gives him any milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, or peanuts. Not there to watch and listen for an asthma attack.
Not there to catch and comfort him if he falls down. Not there to wrap him in love when other kids are mean.
Not there.
This is just the first in a long line of such letting-go milestones. Oh me.
I never had any control to begin with. After all, Trey belongs to God. And there are no better hands for Trey to be in.
But this is serious no-control territory. I know this is necessary and will be very beneficial for Trey, and probably even for our family dynamic. He will have something that's just his, and he'll be stimulated in ways we just can't give him. And like everything else, in time this will become normal.
Lord, please forgive me for my doubt, my desire for control, and my fear of change. Please grow Trey into who You want him to be. Please remind me everyday that Trey is Yours and that You love him more than I do.
Enough introspection.
I was in constant prayer all morning. And in spite of our sure predictions that Trey would go postal being left, crying until he threw up, refusing to be comforted by people he didn't know...he made it.
With Brandon and me at work, Nana took Trey to preschool today, and she said that though he whimpered at first, by the time she was out the door he wasn't crying anymore.
He did it.
It was harder on me than it was on him. I'll take that any day.
Yes, Trey is very grown-up indeed. I love you, my big preschool boy.
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