Expecting
Lord willing, a new little someone will be joining our family in June. We are excited, a little overwhelmed (two kids!?!?), and everything else.
Went to the doctor on Wednesday for regular checkup and ultrasound, and all is well. The baby (who is already measuring big, by the way - what is it with 5'2" me and big babies??) waved at us and kicked and squirmed the entire time. Pure joy.
I will gladly go on record as saying that first trimesters stink. Even though it isn't explicitly listed in Genesis 3:16, I am utterly convinced that first trimester goes right along with pain in childbirth as part of the direct consequences of sin.
We're right at 11 weeks now, so I'm reeeeally hoping the sickness will subside by Christmas. And amid my nauseated misery, God is walking with me and working in me.
We had a scare at 7 weeks, where due to certain things happening with my body, there was a possibility the pregnancy may have been ectopic. That didn't cross my mind at first, and I didn't think the symptoms meant anything really serious, but when I called the doctor's office and explained what was going on, they told me to come in that day for an ultrasound.
I was at work when this call was made, and it was excruciating to go back to my desk and wait to leave for the appointment. I was so scared. I didn't want an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't want a miscarraige. No one ever does. We had prayed for a long time for God to provide direction for our family, and whether to welcome another child. We were so certain this new baby was His will.
Many of my devotions around that time had centered around loss. And the recurring theme was having the faith to say yes to God, even when what He asks of you goes against everything you know and feel. Because of course, the alternative, saying "no", would mean deliberately, willfully, pridefully walking away from His plan.
That is somewhere I have been before, and never want to be again. At this point in my life, I can't take a breath without knowing God is there to give it to me. So there in my little cubicle, silent tears falling down, I said yes to God. For whatever He had for us. I asked for the little one to be healthy and strong, if at all possible. But that His will should win.
I turned on the radio for a distraction. Playing was Mark Schultz, "He is." I had heard the song before, but never like this.
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is
Peace that passes understanding.
Brandon met me for our appointment. The ultrasound technician was chatty and upbeat. I wondered if they were this way for everyone who came in, and how their demeanor would change if something was wrong.
In an instant, the picture appeared on the screen. A tiny little peanut, right where it was supposed to be. Then, a flicker of a heartbeat. And finally, the sound, fast and steady. Oh the release, the praises that went up from my heart in that little room. Everything was fine.
Driving home, the Lord decided to grace me with an object lesson. One of my favorite songs of all time came on the radio, Todd Agnew's "This Fragile Breath". If you haven't heard it, it talks about God speaking through thunder and lightning, His voice shaking the mountians.
God has spoken to me many times in my life, through many different things. Sometimes through people or His word, and often through music and nature. Sometimes His voice is loud, like in a storm or during a worship service when the music just overtakes you. Sometimes it is the still, small voice.
Listening to that song, God seemed to say, "I spoke to you today. Did you hear Me?"
And I knew. God had indeed spoken to me. Not in thunder or loud praise music, but in the faint pulse of a tiny heartbeat. Echoing over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you." Listening to that sound, staring at my second child, my Lord in His mercy chose to answer my undeserved prayer, and yet again to bless us.
There have been a handful of times in my life where I feel I have actually, physically heard God speaking. I can tell you that these gentle whispers have meant more to me than any majestic sound of nature ever could. That the God of the universe takes the time to speak quietly to me, to hold me when I'm scared, and to keep blessing me despite my sin, is almost more than I can stand.
You speak with thunder and lightning
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer
Is this fragile breath
And with each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more
Went to the doctor on Wednesday for regular checkup and ultrasound, and all is well. The baby (who is already measuring big, by the way - what is it with 5'2" me and big babies??) waved at us and kicked and squirmed the entire time. Pure joy.
I will gladly go on record as saying that first trimesters stink. Even though it isn't explicitly listed in Genesis 3:16, I am utterly convinced that first trimester goes right along with pain in childbirth as part of the direct consequences of sin.
We're right at 11 weeks now, so I'm reeeeally hoping the sickness will subside by Christmas. And amid my nauseated misery, God is walking with me and working in me.
We had a scare at 7 weeks, where due to certain things happening with my body, there was a possibility the pregnancy may have been ectopic. That didn't cross my mind at first, and I didn't think the symptoms meant anything really serious, but when I called the doctor's office and explained what was going on, they told me to come in that day for an ultrasound.
I was at work when this call was made, and it was excruciating to go back to my desk and wait to leave for the appointment. I was so scared. I didn't want an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't want a miscarraige. No one ever does. We had prayed for a long time for God to provide direction for our family, and whether to welcome another child. We were so certain this new baby was His will.
Many of my devotions around that time had centered around loss. And the recurring theme was having the faith to say yes to God, even when what He asks of you goes against everything you know and feel. Because of course, the alternative, saying "no", would mean deliberately, willfully, pridefully walking away from His plan.
That is somewhere I have been before, and never want to be again. At this point in my life, I can't take a breath without knowing God is there to give it to me. So there in my little cubicle, silent tears falling down, I said yes to God. For whatever He had for us. I asked for the little one to be healthy and strong, if at all possible. But that His will should win.
I turned on the radio for a distraction. Playing was Mark Schultz, "He is." I had heard the song before, but never like this.
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is
Peace that passes understanding.
Brandon met me for our appointment. The ultrasound technician was chatty and upbeat. I wondered if they were this way for everyone who came in, and how their demeanor would change if something was wrong.
In an instant, the picture appeared on the screen. A tiny little peanut, right where it was supposed to be. Then, a flicker of a heartbeat. And finally, the sound, fast and steady. Oh the release, the praises that went up from my heart in that little room. Everything was fine.
Driving home, the Lord decided to grace me with an object lesson. One of my favorite songs of all time came on the radio, Todd Agnew's "This Fragile Breath". If you haven't heard it, it talks about God speaking through thunder and lightning, His voice shaking the mountians.
God has spoken to me many times in my life, through many different things. Sometimes through people or His word, and often through music and nature. Sometimes His voice is loud, like in a storm or during a worship service when the music just overtakes you. Sometimes it is the still, small voice.
Listening to that song, God seemed to say, "I spoke to you today. Did you hear Me?"
And I knew. God had indeed spoken to me. Not in thunder or loud praise music, but in the faint pulse of a tiny heartbeat. Echoing over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you." Listening to that sound, staring at my second child, my Lord in His mercy chose to answer my undeserved prayer, and yet again to bless us.
There have been a handful of times in my life where I feel I have actually, physically heard God speaking. I can tell you that these gentle whispers have meant more to me than any majestic sound of nature ever could. That the God of the universe takes the time to speak quietly to me, to hold me when I'm scared, and to keep blessing me despite my sin, is almost more than I can stand.
You speak with thunder and lightning
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer
Is this fragile breath
And with each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more
Comments
Congrats to you both and here's hoping that you start feeling better real soon! Praise God everything is great with the baby.
Love,
Tiff
Amber
Joyce